The ramblings of a scattered minded girl

Do you ever feel like something is just missing? Everything can be fine but for some reason you just feel like something is off or you are just lonely when you have no reason to be. That’s kind of how I’ve been feeling lately, like something is just off but I can’t put my finger on it and it’s bugging me. One of my friends and I were talking the other day about being afraid to be alone or being lonely and not having a warm body to fall asleep to every night or once in a while and they asked me how I do it and it got me thinking. Deep down a part of me misses having someone and is terrified that I am never going to find that person who loves me for me, good and bad but then again at the same time I feel like I’ve gone this long without some one that I am independent and only need to rely on myself. I don’t need anyone. I don’t really even remember what it feels like to sleep next to a warm body that isn’t a baby lol. But then I just keep reminding myself that I am young and still have plenty of time, and that was my answer to my friend. That I have tons of friends and that is really all I need, which sounds like your stereotypical feel better, more fish in the sea answer but really its true. I would love to have that person by my side but as long as I have my friends I’ll be fine. The way I see it is everything could be worse. I’m not dying or living on the streets and I have an amazing son and some of the best friends you could ever ask for. 

Which brings me to the topic of my friends. I don’t know who actually reads this and who doesn’t but I have some of the greatest friends in the world. Friends who will listen to me rant when I’m upset and actually care even if it is in all high pitched squeals as I pace their living room floor lol. Or the friends who actually stuck by me while I was pregnant and are still with me and love Jace and play with him. That’s one of my biggest things are the friends who don’t care that I have to bring Jace everywhere and are happy to play with him. Who don’t make me feel like I am a leper because I have a kid or treat me differently. I have friends who we can be completely normal and weird and say whatever we want around, we can talk about poops that feel like life accomplishments or some random awkward story about some sex-capade they had or even all sit around and watch a star wars parody porn. True friends are the ones who stick by you no matter what and will ask you how your day is or anything because they truly do care what you have to say. True friends can see you at your worst and still be there for you and my true friends are some pretty amazing people.

So to all of my true friends out there, you know who you are, you have no idea how much I truly do appreciate everything you’ve done for me and always will still do. Thank you :)

To those of you who actually took the time to read this, thank you I really do appreciate it. You are one of the few lol 

/Over and Out

Ever get that feeling like you’ll never catch a break that =’s my life